“Self-Made Man” is a very unique book, the telling of a butch feminist lesbian who decided to actually live as a man for a year and a half.
Her message is unique and her story amazing; She, by far, has seen much more deeply into the male condition than pretty much any female writer I’ve ever read.
Selection from chapter: Journey's End
- Somebody is always evaluating your manhood. Whether it’s other men, other women, even children. And everyone is always on the lookout for your weakness or your inadequacy, as if it’s some kind of plague they’re terrified of catching, or, more importantly, of other men catching. If you don’t make the right move, put your eyes in the right place at any given moment, in the eyes of the culture at large that threatenes the whole structure. Consequently, somebody has always got to be there kicking you under the table, redirecting, making, or keeping you a real man.
- And that, I learned very quickly, is the straitjacket of the male role, and one that is no less constrictive than its feminine counterpart. You’re not allowed to be a complete human bring. Intead you get to be a coached jumble of stoic poses. You get to be what’s expected of you.
Snipets
- Her strongest point is about the emotional consequences men pay for repressing emotions, as illuminated by her joining a male support group. She was shocked, yet sympathetic, when she found these men using anger to express their darkest frustrations - usually about women. Note to ladies: there’s a price to being expected to always be strong and stoic. But maybe women don’t care to hear this (which is exactly why they should). The Booklist review for Self-Made Man sums it up best: “[Vincent in drag] also found women to be distrustful, ever ready to criticize men for being emotionally distant yet clearly preferring men who met stereotypical images of strength and virility.” – Everything in Moderation, Including Moderation: Kings, Queens, and Norah Vincent
See Also
GenderAndSexuality